Tuesday 18 June 2013

Self harm

It is said that 1 in 10 young people have self harmed in the past or will go on to do so in the future.

With such a high number of people being affected by this issue, it begs the question: why is self harm still surrounded by a multitude of misconceptions and an overwhelming stigma?

I think that comes down to two main reasons...
  1. People are not being sufficiently educated about self harm
  2. The issue is not being openly discussed about nearly as much as it should be
The thing is, even people who have self harmed in the past have difficulty understanding the issue. It is extremely complex. There is not one, singular reason that people turn to self harm in their times of need. The reasons why people self-harm is endless. Some do it when they're angry or frustrated, others do it because they'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. Some do it when they feel scared, or confused, or alone, or just plain sad. 
The truth is, self harm is a coping technique. A destructive one it may be, but it helps people to cope with feelings that they struggle to understand, because it allows them to turn their emotional pain into physical pain. A pain that has an obvious reason for existing. 

If you cut yourself, then you know why you're hurting. You know that it will heal. You are in control. 
If you're sitting in a room, and suddenly this crushing feeling hits you like a freight train, then you don't know where it's coming from. You don't know when you will stop feeling hurt. You don't even know if you will stop feeling hurt. You have no control.
And that is a thought so difficult to process in some minds, that they turn to self-harm in an attempt to make it stop.

Addiction and habit can be deemed as good enough reasons for people to self-harm again and again. The act of self-injury releases endorphins, which help calm down the person in question and distract them from the issue at hand... whatever is causing them to feel like this.

When people say 'self-harm', it is common for others to immediately picture cutting in their minds. However, cutting is only one of the infinite ways that people hurt themselves. Other popular methods of self-harm include scratching, biting, hitting, burning and swallowing poisonous substances. There are also less obvious forms of self-harm, such as reckless driving, substance abuse or having unsafe sex. Really, any action in which you are willingly putting yourself in danger or attempting to hurt yourself can be classified as self-harm.

The issue can affect anyone, at any time in their lives. Be they male or female, straight or gay, white or black, rich or poor, popular or unpopular, it truly doesn't matter. Self-harm doesn't judge based on appearance or experience, and neither should we. 

Because right now, society does judge self-harmers. Often cruelly. Sufferers are subject to tasteless jokes and a landslide of abuse. Sometimes they are ostracised, and left to deal with their problems all on their own. And for this reason, among many others, most who experience the issue first-hand choose to keep their troubles to themselves.

No person should feel as though they need to tackle this alone.

I'm here to tell you that recovery is possible. It may not be easy, but I can assure you, it is absolutely worth it.

It takes a lot of hard-work and determination to stop self-harming. As previously stated, it's a coping technique, and therefore it becomes deeply rooted within your mind. At the end of a long and stressful day, it becomes all too appealing to hurt yourself to relieve all of the pressure that has been building up. But sometimes, something speaks out from within us, pleading with us in a gentle whisper not to do this to ourselves. And sometimes, it is these whispers that speak loudest to us.

If you are seriously considering giving up self-harming, then I recommend taking a look at this post. It gives you a lot of reasons why people choose to harm themselves. Choose the one that best describes why you do it, and it will offer you several ideas for what to replace it with. You might not find the one that works for you over night. It might take a few weeks to get it right, but please, don't give up hope. You can and will find the replacement coping technique that works for you.

Also, I suggest telling someone about your experiences with self-harm. Choose someone that you trust, and tell them about your struggles. You can do this in writing if you think telling them face to face will be too difficult. As said previously, it takes a lot of will-power to stop, so it helps if you have a good support system in place to talk to you if you are considering relapsing.

Even if you try your hardest, but still find yourself relapsing, then please do not feel discouraged. I find that the quote that Hayley recently reblogged on tumblr ("It's okay, you can start over") is perfect for this situation. If you relapse, then do not be afraid to start over again. It can take a number of tries before you can finally kick the habit for good. The rewards of finally doing this is worth all of the pain and the struggle of quitting however.
Believe me.

No matter how addicted you are to the pain, no matter how weak you feel right now, know that you have the strength and the ability to get out of this situation that you are in. 

Your scars may tell your stories, but it is you that holds the pen. Choose to put an end to this chapter of your life, because I assure you, what's on the next page will be so much better.

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